Since my trip to a clairvoyant, when it was explained that lives are like blue prints that are mapped out before our ‘spirit’ reaches earth, I have felt different. I have had a number of strange experiences and I can’t help but feel like I have some kind of purpose or that I am being guided or ‘pushed’ in a certain direction. I know what you’re thinking, I’m thinking it too… I’ve finally lost it. And now I’m broadcasting it to the world. These are probably the thoughts that I should keep to myself but instead I shall put them on the World Wide Web for all to see.
I met my friend Andy (who I hadn’t seen in 4 years) shortly after I met with the clairvoyant. He is a Christian who often has very wise words of wisdom about general life matters and he started talking to me about when he speaks to God. Now, I don’t want to disrespect religion, but I would have considered myself more of a ‘Belieber’ than a ‘Believer’ but his stories do fascinate me, they always have done but this time I felt more of a connection to what he was saying than ever before. I asked him what God sounds like; how does he actually HEAR his voice? He explained that he is often given signs and explained how there are ways to learn how to hear him.
The other week, I was unexpectedly contacted and asked to be involved in a potentially dangerous situation which I didn’t want to be part of. I don’t like letting people down, especially when they need/ask for help so I agreed to a meeting to discuss a situation concerning distant relatives, even though I didn’t want to.
When I was pregnant with Molly my dad passed away after his battle with cancer. Realising that I didn’t have many recent photographs, I took a burst of selfies with him (about 10 pictures) a few days before his death but shortly after I lost my phone which hadn’t been backed up, the pictures had gone forever.
Recently my phone was stolen and the night before my unwanted meeting I received my new one through the post so to set it up I entered my icloud details (As I have done in the past) but nothing happened. I didn’t have any of my music or contacts, my screen savers weren’t there and I didn’t have any messages. I checked my photos and there it was… frozen on my screen, a picture of my dad and I, the day before his death. It wasn’t a very nice photograph because he was very ill but I hadn’t seen this picture for years and it was never backed up, so why had it suddenly appeared now? And why was it the ONLY thing on my phone?
I had a brief text exchange with a friend before deciding to take it as a ‘sign’ to stay well out of the unwanted situation. A few hours later I took myself off to bed and started thinking about what Andy had told me a few days previously which made me think, in my head, “if God is real, give me a sign” I felt silly for even thinking it but at that EXACT second my phone went off and I received a message from the friend that I had text hours earlier. The message read-
“GOD. How strange” ….now I was really spooked.
This week I have been considering my travel itinerary over the next year (after all, I need material to write about) and started by booking a weekend away to Babington House. I then decided that I want to incorporate more meaningful trips to my agenda rather than just drinking my way around European cities or swanning off to a spa for the weekend. I briefly looked at Istanbul and started thinking of destinations that aren’t potential war zones. I was thinking of writing my next blog post about the most amazing place I have been to, Cambodia. Despite it being 8 years since my visit I could write a book on the history and culture of this incredible country, where I have never felt so scared, unsafe and terribly sad for the population that has been so scarred by Pol Pot and his Khmer Rouge. I then discovered that a friend is currently looking for volunteers in Bethlehem, Palestine.
This is a once in a lifetime experience which will really test the boundaries of heart vs head. I wouldn’t have hesitated if it weren’t for Molly but it’s not just me to think about, am I completely selfish for even considering it? Ironically, the point of the trip would be to help others! I can’t help but think that if I get selected to go, will this be a defining occasion for me which is (and always has been) on my blueprint? Whether the outcome is terrific or terrible… Was I supposed to end up there? I’m never going to change the world and my little blog that I only post through my little Facebook page with 100 likes is hardly going make me the next mother Teresa, but why do I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to do all of this stuff? All because a nice lady sat me next to one of her old paintings in her spare room and told me to?! I had a conversation about God and now I may be going to Bethlehem…. Riiiiight.
I very much doubt that God is using modern technology to contact me through iCloud, or sending me text messages through my friends and I probably won’t get selected to go to Bethlehem which means that I will actually end up sitting in a posh Spa for the weekend whilst drinking cocktails and talking about the meaning of life and how ‘spiritual’ I am. But life is all about experience, and lately I’ve been thinking about how we end up doing the things we do… Coincidence, blueprint or serendipity? I guess we’ll never know.
[…] and it is nothing to do with the copious consumption of pumpkin pie of late. If you have read my posts about ‘signs’ (yup, still banging on about the signs) then you will know that I feel like I am on a path to […]
[…] and it has nothing to do with the copious consumption of pumpkin pie of late. If you have read my posts about ‘signs’ (yup, still banging on about the signs) then you will know that I feel like I am on a path to […]