Do all children go through a porkie pie stage or is it just a select few who are paving their own mischievous path to nomadic rebelion? Should I be worried that Molly has already started to create stories that misrepresent the truth? The thing is, I am not worried, I am amused… and does this make me a terrible parent for finding my 4 year old’s fibs hilarious?!
Just now for example…
It’s bedtime and Mo insists she is still hungry. She has already brushed her teeth but I let her have a banana while I read her a bed time story (yes, yes… I know, I let her eat in bed which will not only destroy her digestive system but also get her lost in some ‘Inception’ style dream world…)
Story is finished. It is school tomorrow. It is time to sleep.
“But I haven’t finished my banana”
“One more bite and then I am taking it away because you should be asleep by now”
“OK. Oh hang on… where is it?” *I see it poking out from under her pillow*
“Come on darling, no time for games- its sleepy time”
“No seriously mummy, I just had it in my hand and then it disappeared and now I don’t know where it’s gone”
I start laughing and say ‘Oh, so it’s just disappeared into thin air then?”
“Yes. It must have because I no longer have it and you have to go now because I need sleep because I have school in the morning. Night” *rolls over and closes her eyes as if she were instantly asleep*
A few friends have mentioned the whispered “Don’t tell Mummy that I am eating sweeties” line (one I am sure we all used at some stage) and I’ve also caught her out a few times by asking her what’s in her hand… the startled expression and the abrupt “Nothing” response suggests otherwise.
Molly is 4. She started school last week (the same school that her Father and I attended), and I didn’t anticipate such a wave of emotion and realisation of what life will now be like.
I wasn’t exactly a saint as a teenager. There will be no way that Molly will be able to get away with smoking cigarettes in her wardrobe or hosting surprise ‘invite all your mates to camp in your back garden’ parties (I think my Mother had somewhat given up on me by this point)… but with Molly I have always looked too far in to the future. I have always been ‘wary’ of the possible scenarios I will have to deal with when she is in secondary school.
I forget that, in primary school, not only did I sit underneath the table and cut 8 inches from my hair (this was just one of my DIY haircuts… the most infamous being when I attempted the ‘Rachel from Friends’ look which ended up being a rather disastrous V shape), I also called 999 after a day spent with Firefighters who expressed how you must absolutely NOT call 999 unless its an emergency (I blamed my brother for that one… obvs). I put my pet rabbit in a drawstring bag in the boot whilst we went food shopping (I didn’t want him to get lonely at home). A friend and I bought some hamsters and kept them under my bed (we managed to keep them a secret for 2 whole days).
These are just a few ‘incidences’ from my childhood and it has suddenly dawned on me that Molly is no longer my little baby. She is a little girl. A girl who is creating her own character, with her own personality, and her own mind. I have been so occupied in the present, and fast forwarding to the future, that I seemed to have overlooked the immediate future.
I can’t wait to see what childhood ‘incidences’ I will be dealing with as a Mother.
Bring it on my little Baby… Mummy is ready for the games to begin…
The Adventures of A Part Time Parent 