Babington or Bethlehem?

Since my trip to a clairvoyant, when it was explained that lives are like blue prints that are mapped out before our ‘spirit’ reaches earth, I have felt different. I have had a number of strange experiences and I can’t help but feel like I have some kind of purpose or that I am being guided or ‘pushed’ in a certain direction. I know what you’re thinking, I’m thinking it too… I’ve finally lost it. And now I’m broadcasting it to the world. These are probably the thoughts that I should keep to myself but instead I shall put them on the World Wide Web for all to see.

I met my friend Andy (who I hadn’t seen in 4 years) shortly after I met with the clairvoyant. He is a Christian who often has very wise words of wisdom about general life matters and he started talking to me about when he speaks to God. Now, I don’t want to disrespect religion, but I would have considered myself more of a ‘Belieber’ than a ‘Believer’ but his stories do fascinate me, they always have done but this time I felt more of a connection to what he was saying than ever before. I asked him what God sounds like; how does he actually HEAR his voice? He explained that he is often given signs and explained how there are ways to learn how to hear him.

The other week, I was unexpectedly contacted and asked to be involved in a potentially dangerous situation which I didn’t want to be part of. I don’t like letting people down, especially when they need/ask for help so I agreed to a meeting to discuss a situation concerning distant relatives, even though I didn’t want to.

When I was pregnant with Molly my dad passed away after his battle with cancer. Realising that I didn’t have many recent photographs, I took a burst of selfies with him (about 10 pictures) a few days before his death but shortly after I lost my phone which hadn’t been backed up, the pictures had gone forever.

Recently my phone was stolen and the night before my unwanted meeting I received my new one through the post so to set it up I entered my icloud details (As I have done in the past) but nothing happened. I didn’t have any of my music or contacts, my screen savers weren’t there and I didn’t have any messages. I checked my photos and there it was… frozen on my screen, a picture of my dad and I, the day before his death. It wasn’t a very nice photograph because he was very ill but I hadn’t seen this picture for years and it was never backed up, so why had it suddenly appeared now? And why was it the ONLY thing on my phone?

I had a brief text exchange with a friend before deciding to take it as a ‘sign’ to stay well out of the unwanted situation. A few hours later I took myself off to bed and started thinking about what Andy had told me a few days previously which made me think, in my head, “if God is real, give me a sign” I felt silly for even thinking it but at that EXACT second my phone went off and I received a message from the friend that I had text hours earlier. The message read-

“GOD. How strange” ….now I was really spooked.

This week I have been considering my travel itinerary over the next year (after all, I need material to write about) and started by booking a weekend away to Babington House. I then decided that I want to incorporate more meaningful trips to my agenda rather than just drinking my way around European cities or swanning off to a spa for the weekend. I briefly looked at Istanbul and started thinking of destinations that aren’t potential war zones. I was thinking of writing my next blog post about the most amazing place I have been to, Cambodia. Despite it being 8 years since my visit I could write a book on the history and culture of this incredible country, where I have never felt so scared, unsafe and terribly sad for the population that has been so scarred by Pol Pot and his Khmer Rouge. I then discovered that a friend is currently looking for volunteers in Bethlehem, Palestine.

This is a once in a lifetime experience which will really test the boundaries of heart vs head. I wouldn’t have hesitated if it weren’t for Molly but it’s not just me to think about, am I completely selfish for even considering it? Ironically, the point of the trip would be to help others! I can’t help but think that if I get selected to go, will this be a defining occasion for me which is (and always has been) on my blueprint? Whether the outcome is terrific or terrible… Was I supposed to end up there? I’m never going to change the world and my little blog that I only post through my little Facebook page with 100 likes is hardly going make me the next mother Teresa, but why do I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to do all of this stuff? All because a nice lady sat me next to one of her old paintings in her spare room and told me to?! I had a conversation about God and now I may be going to Bethlehem…. Riiiiight.

I very much doubt that God is using modern technology to contact me through iCloud, or sending me text messages through my friends and I probably won’t get selected to go to Bethlehem which means that I will actually end up sitting in a posh Spa for the weekend whilst drinking cocktails and talking about the meaning of life and how ‘spiritual’ I am. But life is all about experience, and lately I’ve been thinking about how we end up doing the things we do… Coincidence, blueprint or serendipity? I guess we’ll never know.